i wake up, sat at the corner of my bed, held my head and begin to ease with the malaise in my soul. Thousands of questions bludgeoned to my head and made it malleable but with a sledge hammer and leading to never an answer, never for once a true answer only confusion and malady.

i went to the bathroom, stared at the mirror only to be looking at a reflection of somewhat a stranger, a stranger with the sense of malice in his eyes, the eyes of a putrid being. The mirror, it recants all of the things i tend to ravel but eventually filled with regrets. My head is aching to rationalized, followed by the unknown pain in my heart, but it only ends with more questions.

i take a shower, as long as i could, for the water seems to take me to realism and put me far away from the feeling of compunction. i get dressed, then sat on a chair wondering, another day, more questions, another confusion, thousands of uncertainty and a step more to losing myself.

Around me, i see faces behind masks, i see fictitious life, and it made me wonder the difference of a good being and a bad being. Only to discover that every each of us have a fever blister deep within our soul, fetid way beyond our sense and the thought of malevolent that we don't even realize.

at night, on my bed, it took me hours till i fell asleep, due to easing with the thoughts and questions that i bear in my head, sometimes hoping that this will be the last sleep i ever had in a malicious day.

what's our purpose in life, what is happiness, why do every answer comes with a confusion, why do we have to be strong.. people strive to hinder from pain and some being masochism.. they say fully live your life.. but live our life that fills with what.. most of us aim to get better paid job.. to earn big money.. to an extend where it is wasted.. to what purpose.. only to satisfy our undying melanchol needs.. all these questions and more but never a true answer..

will the answer be given in the afterlife....